Home, Sweet Home

I suspect that my feet swelled on the plane. My work shoes are hurting me almost as much as the slightly too small snowboots I rented on the one day did. They were more uncomfortable than the most uncomfortable stilettos I have ever worn. You see I have broad feet. I blame my mum’s side of the family – my uncle, my cousin, my mum, my gran and my youngest brother all share the same ridiculously broad feet. The problem is that the heel is still narrow (picture a flipper) so when it comes to shoes such as snowboard boots where your heel should not move you have to strap them so tightly you cut off the blood in the top of your foot in order to ensure that they fit.

Every time I go on holiday I vow and declare that I am not going to go straight from the airport to the office but then closer to the time everyday of leave seems so precious and who in their right mind would chose a day chilling at home over another day of snowboarding? I’ve been at work for a matter of hours and I am already regretting that decision. Jet lag, it is clear, is far worse going east than west. Perhaps it was because I had 2 and a half weeks of holiday to look forward to on the way there so I didn’t notice but it is only 12pm and I am already seeing squint.

Whistler

Whistler is every bit the picturesque ski town you imagine it to be with its wooden houses and snow laden pine trees. It’s even got the stereotypical Mounties dotted aboot. (I practised saying aboot instead of about for about two months before going to Canada. Interestingly I have yet to hear a Canadian say aboot. Apparently it is a Quebecois thing).

Our two weeks in Whistler were awesome. Everyone gradually trickled in until the full complement of 21 of us were there. We had great conditions with lots of snow bar our second day which was incredibly icy and during which most of us sustained our minor injuries. You are reminded of muscles you never even realised you had when you ski. If you had walked into our house on the second morning you would be forgiven for thinking you'd walked into an old age home by the way we were all hobbling aboot and dramatically clutching our backs. But a couple of hours spent in the hot tub every evening did wonders for our aching bodies and if that failed we could always stretch our limbs out on the dance floor later.

For a group of 21 people we emerged after 2 weeks miraculously unscathed aside from the usual aches and pains of using muscles we didn’t know existed. There were a couple of close calls though:

• Brian: Large bump resembling tail on tailbone
• Liv: Bruised shins after a day of skiing in boots 2 sizes too big and not done up properly
• Mads: Bruise the size (and curiously the shape) of Alaska on ass
• Louise: Left knee swelled to 3 times the normal size after a hard day boarding but nothing a little RICE (rest, ice, compression and elevation, hot tub and Myprodol couldn’t sort out)
• Paul and Lou: Tongues emerged unscathed after licking the chair lift Dumb and Dumber style to see if tongues would stick
• Volpe: Danger of suffocation from the classic Scarface face plant into the powder
• Jimmy: Bruised back from a number of scorpion falls – falling face forward so hard that you hit your back with your board
• Simon and Al: Bruised image for their practical but incredibly eighties full ski suits with braces and zips on the ass
• Lee-Lee – Panic attack on the slopes and crying three times before getting to the bottom
• Frikker – Bruised ego for taking 2 hours to get home on the cat track and still having to take the bus
• Shacks and Paul – Dented reputation for renting hard-core American
• Paul B - Sore stomach from laughing so hard at Rob hanging from a tree branch over a precipice after an over ambitious jump and doing nothing to help
• Al - The worst smelly feet in history
• John – Almost dented head from irish jigging in the Dublin bar so vigourously that he almost caused a fight
• Big Air Robair - For suffering from near exhaustion after never going to sleep EVER
• Nic – 48 hours of severe Mexican Wrap induced gastro
• Lucy –For not being an ambiturner
• Carl - For treating us all to his regular flatulence
• Dave – For suffering from excacerbated Gold Fish syndrome
• Nic - Damaged reputation as a result of his pink board
• Dave and Brian - Damaged pride after incorrectly predicting that Joey and Dawson get together
• Mims - Being diagnosed with pneaumonia on her arrival back in SA
• Everyone except Liv - Emptier pockets from her cleaning us out at Poker TWICE

Quotes of the holiday:

• Queen or Beaver?
• Mayhaps not too far enough enough
• When I was in Winterpark
• Has anyone seen my mojo?
• I have an elegant proof that is too long to fit in this margin
• Gnar, gnar, gnar
• Living the dream
• I’m not that parfait with the system
• Piyew, PIYEW, piyew

Vancouver

Raindrops kept falling on our heads in Vancouver and on and on. In fact it did not stop raining for the entire three days we were there on our way to Whistler. It made sightseeing a little difficult but it didn’t stop the coming together of old friends and gave everyone took the opportunity to purchase some top of the range equipment. I realised that the enjoyment of shopping is relative to what is being shopped for when we had to spend 6 hours snowboard and gear shopping. I took refuge underneath a rack of jackets while the boys just shopped and shopped.

We stayed in my spuncle's place just outside of Vancouver. He kindly lent us his A-team van for the trip which I adored and wanted to bring back to SA with me. Many a happy hour was spent pimping round Vancouver with tinted windows and tall tales. Driving on the right hand side of the road wasn’t too bad but became increasingly tricky when there were no cars on the road to get your bearings which I discovered when I went from left to right around a traffic circle.

We spent two more days in Vanc on the way out in which the sun made an appearance and made the newly washed city quite beautiful.

London town

A ten hour layover in London split our two 11 hour flights on the way into Canada. We decided to take the opportunity to go and check out our future abode and have lunch with Marissa and Justine. We walked out of the Edgeware Road tube station and RIGHT in front of us was our building. It brought a whole new meaning to the concept of centrality although the noise factor will still need to be established. The weather was disarmingly gorgeous and we spent the rest of the day wandering around Hyde Park.