There are many ways to kill a rat

Yesterday I walked into the kitchen just in time to see a rat scurrying into a little hole at the bottom of the cupboard. I hate rats. I've hated them since I was 5 and I had a story teller book and tape about the Pied Piper of Hamlin. The pictures were dark and frightening and the storyteller had a goosebump inspiring voice when he spoke about the rats coming into the kitchens at night and their tails "trailing through the butter". There is no doubt we have to get rid of it but the question is how. All of the ways I can think of are fraught with disadvantages:

1. Rattex (also the name of my brother's pet rat which I loathed): At first glance, Rattex seems to be the least messy option especially if you go by the advice of the handyman that used to attend to my digs in Rhodes. He told me that Rattex causes the rat to dehydrate and so it goes outside to look for water and dies outside. I don't know if he was trying to sugar coat the whole experience for me but I found out last night that Rattex causes the rat to internally bleed to death for up to two days. Often it doesn't make it outside as was the case with a friend of mine who eventually traced a curious stench in his house to his roof where one of the afore mentioned rats lay gently rotting
2. Traditional mouse trap: The traditional mouse trap is also an option but it sometimes doesn't kill the rat in which case you have to do it yourself when you come upon it before you've even had a chance to have your morning tea. And then you still have to pick it up and throw it away SHUDDER
3. The new "more humane" glue trap: These days you can get a trap that is covered in glue. When the rat walks over it becomes stuck fast but it doesn't hurt it. I'm not convinced that this is more humane. In digs last year to get rid of a similar problem, Rob used this trap. He came in in the morning to find a rat that had been struggling to unstick itself the whole night but was still alive. He then had to kill it. I know that I couldn't do that.
4. Doing nothing: The last option is to convince yourself that if you don't do anything it might go away by itself. That's all good and well but then you never know if there are tracing of rat dropping on your kitchen counters or whether you're going to feel something small and furry scuttle over your feet at any time.
   

And then what if there are more than 1? Are rats solitary animals or do they hang out in packs? Do you set a number of traps? Do you reuse them each night?

Someone help!

Poker face

This weekend, B and I went away with a whole lot of his work mates to this awesome game farm about 60 kms past Rustenburg. It always amazes me how good you feel after going away and getting out of the freneticism of Joeys. On Saturday night we decided to play a bit of poker, Texas Hold 'em style. I've never really been a big fan of poker or to be honest really played it properly.

Let's just say that now I'm converted. The rush of your first win gives you an inkling of how people can get addicted to gambling. We played for hours. A bush fire loomed ominously on the horizon and panicked everyone else but did not deter us from our game. At 2am in the morning it was just 3 of the original 10 players remaining. I felt like I should have been wearing a green visor. The game ended in a couple of rash "all in" rounds as we started getting tired. Next time I'm playing for money.

Home sweet home

I'm back after an exhausting 36 hours of travelling armed with a good supply of Twizzlers and very glad to see the summer sunshine. My jet lag doesn't seem to be too bad although I have been wide awake since 4am - bright eyed and bushy tailed. I expect it to hit me in the next couple of hours.

Section 1

Religiously litigious

Last night we made our way to the much talked about Cadillac Ranch (or more accurately "The Place We Cannot Name"). Cadillac Ranch is a large and rather cheesy bar with Thursday night Karaoke that I suspect the guests of the Q centre have been keeping in business for the last eight years. Faculty (me) are not allowed to talk about it or encourage participants to attend because this country is so ridiculously litigious.

The Q centre and Accenture cannot have any affiliation with the Cadillac Ranch for fear that someone may come to some harm there and then blame them. We are not allowed to refer to it by name hence we call it "the place we cannot name". I went and asked about the transportation to get there at reception. They had obviously received the same memo and were even more guarded. "Hmmm.... we don't have anything to do with it but I believe there is a private bus company that takes people there in the evenings". As if they haven't noticed the school buses (brought by an enterprising St Charles resident) that have been ferrying the majority of their guests to and from Cadillac Ranch every Thursday without fail for the last 5 years.

I had to hold back on the Karaoke because when I was here two years ago I lost my voice for ten days from an obviously overzealous singing session. I managed to get in a song or two though. Our section (the guys we taught) sang "You've lost that loving feeling" from Top Gun. The Karaoke guy announced it the best song he had heard all evening which is not saying very much considering some of the other more cringe-worthy numbers but an accolade none the less.

Nature calls

It amazes me how human nature spans both creed and culture. In my class I have people harking from as far as Moscow and yet everyone falls neatly into the stereotypical team roles: the natural leader, the facilitator, the (inevitably hungover) space cadet, the shy, but intelligent non-contributor and by far the most irritating when you are trying to teach, the smart alec.

Superbowl Sunday

On Saturday after class we all missioned through to Chicago in a couple of limos - it's very bizarre but it's actually cheaper to travel by limo than mini van. We almost froze on our way to a dinner of Chicago's signature dish, deep dish pizza. Deep dish pizza is pizza that is made in an enormous pie dish with a layer of cheese about 3 centimetres thick and topped with tomato paste. It's worth trying but incredibly rich. We went from there to Enclave, one of Chicago's most happening spots of the moment at which one of the analysts had organised us access and our own bar for a nominal amount. Good times.

Sunday dawned bright and clear and although it didn't seem possible even colder. After a precursory stroll down the Magnificent Mile of Michigan Mile and a trip to the 99th floor of the Hancock Tower to take in the breathtaking views we headed to the ESPN zone (filming site of the famous Superbowl shuffle of '85 and from which ESPN radio was broadcasting) for the much publicised Superbowl between the Chicago Bears and the Indianopolis Colts. Bizarrely enough this is actually my third Superbowl although the first time that I have been in the home town of one of the competing teams. Almost every single person was saw was decked out in the orange and blue colours of the Bears. The response of the crowd when the Bears scored (or is it made?) a touch down in the first 5 minutes was awe-inspiring and entirely deafening. Unfortunately for us the performance of the Bears rapidly declined from there and the Colts emerged victorious.

What I learnt in Chicago:

1. Wear a hat to prevent freezing


2. If you wear a hat to prevent freezing, don't take it off in public at any time because you will have VERY BAD HAT HAIR.

Baby it's cold outside

We're off to Chicago this weekend for a spot of sight seeing and to catch the Super Bowl. I heard it was cold but I was very comfortable in my little bubble of oblivion until I converted the temperature from Fahrenheit to Celcius. Check this out:
YIKES - and that is without the wind chill factor off the lake!

A tribute to teachers

A week into teaching the course I would like to take my hat off to teachers everywhere. Teaching is one of the most exhausting and draining things I have ever had to do. The entire day you have to be engaged and a step ahead of the class. You are the one that has to draw them out of their sleep deprived stupours by trying to make the module of the moment vaguely interesting when all you want to do is go to sleep yourself. Have you ever tried to wake up people whilst simultaneosly telling them about packaged software configuration? Let's just say I've had to get VERY creative. At 6 or 7 you grab a bite to eat and then retire to prepare your course work for the next day. The first opportunity to switch off is at 9 or 10 at night!

So much for my dreams of reliving my analyst school heydays.